Oh the places you'll go...

     I'm experiencing one of the downfalls of adventure--sickness.  In Peru, apparently we say, "Mi estamago es flojo," or "my stomach is lazy."  Jealous of the other guys out getting to do service in the community, I decided to take some time to look back on places I have visited or lived.  The easiest way to do that seemed to be a map.  I'm a very visual person and tend to associate stories with places.  So using a picture of the U.S. I found on a Google image search and the paintbrush option in Paint, I started creating this map to see where I have been and the people that accompanied me or who encouraged me along the way.

     If you asked me to, I could tell you a story from each of these places, who I was with, and who I met there.  Some of them I have been blessed to visit several times.  If you look at the dot on the Alabama-Georgia border, that is the location of the School of the Americas protest at Ft. Benning, GA.  I was blessed to go there five years in a row.  For better or worse, my prayer sometimes seems like a montage of these experiences.  Making this map though has allowed me to sit with each of these places and people individually.  We have many things now to store memories--journals and pictures that can be stored en mass.  My spiritual directors have always encouraged me to pull these out again, especially the journals I keep on retreats.  It seems to be the same way authors are often encouraged to write and then let something sit a while and come back to it.  Perhaps there is a fresh experience that gives light to a previous one.  Only recently did I discover why I left college early to join the Jesuits, a two-year delay.

     These tools help me to remember that discernment is always an on-going process.  We are always burrowing deeper into the mystery, discovering something unknown--going on an adventure.  My suggestion is to pick out a specific experience, and even smaller if necessary.  I could never reflect on the entirety of an 8-day retreat in one sitting; however, I can sit with specific prayer periods of that retreat.  In the same way, I could never reflect on my month in Denver; but I can be with a particular hike I had there.  Our adventures are like a good poem or piece of art that has many beautiful, hidden bits of knowledge.  It is best to treat them as such, giving them the time they need for recollection and quiet.  Then we can more fully share the story.

     Not only does this practice teach me new things, but it helps remind me of the old things I need to remember.  As I prepared for this trip to Peru, I was quite scared.  Not for any reason in particular, but I think the newness of it was nerve-wrecking (to the tune of feeling physically ill).  It was similar to the worry I had when my parents moved to Lawrence, KS after my senior year of high school.  I love adventure, but I also depend on a strong sense of home.  Given that previous experience, I was reminded of the comfort that so many people and the Holy Spirit offered me.  Despite feeling sick the entire flight, once landed I felt fine and ready to go. This is the kind of reminder I needed, drawn from a past experience.  Nothing new, but certainly just as powerful as the first time.

     The places you go may be many or few, but they all deserve time for reflection or prayer--an Examen at the end of the day, or even a whole hour.  Whatever it is, I hope you find it grace-filled and fruitful.  Let your adventures be not just physical, but spiritual as well.  Oh the places you'll go....